Happy Dude: Why everyone wants to hear about your depression
Once upon a time I was chatting with an independent businessperson about his story and the experiences that led him to where he is today.
He said something like, “well, it really all started because I suffered from depression. But nobody wants to hear about that.”
🤯
All I could think was: “Trust me. Everybody wants to hear about that.”
Fact: the gritty, messy, challenging parts of your story are probably the best parts.
The moment you start telling the truth — the real, hot mess truth — that’s the moment when your audience starts paying attention.
Maybe this particular guy might have a different take on things if only he’d listened to this bit by Henry Rollins.
In the 90s, punk rock icon, musician, and author Henry Rollins did a stand-up / spoken word thing. I listened to the tape over and over, and there was a bit that never left me.
(I can’t find the recording for the life of me, so here’s my best recap of it.)
Essentially, it went something like this:
There’s this movie that’s just come out. It’s called Happy Dude. Happy Dude is happy all the time. Nothing ever goes wrong. Happy Dude never gets depressed. He just skips around with a big smile on his face being happy.
How many people do you think go to see this movie? Not a single one.
Henry’s point is the exact opposite of what that guy assumed to be true about his story.
It’s this: As storytellers, audience members, and human beings, we need conflict. We need grit and muck. And as I’ve written about before, we need tension.
Why is conflict so important?
For one thing, as Happy Dude suggests, the bright, shiny, and perfect is often… boring. All human beings are complex and messy in their own way. Even if we have vastly different experiences, your flaws, challenges, and difficulties will likely resonate with me because I too have flaws, challenges, and difficulties.
The appeal of these things is naturally amped up because we live in a culture where sharing them is still kind of taboo. There’s a ton of pressure to maintain an external veneer of having things “all together”. That means it can be both relieving and intriguing to hear someone talk about their not-so-bright-and-shiny stuff.
The other reason for this is that stories inherently require conflict. As my old drama teacher once told me, “drama is about a man in a mess.” A story without conflict of any kind isn’t a story. It’s just a bunch of information.
Conflict and challenge (and overcoming those things) are essential elements of the narrative arc. Without conflict, you’ve just got… Happy Dude.
So, what does this mean for you?
It means if you’ve ever had a problem, you’ve got a story.
No, you don’t have to put all your most dramatic and traumatic details out there for all to see. And yes, some editing and fine-tuning may be required to adapt your story for a professional context.
But don’t shy away from your more complicated, challenging stories, either. Invoke the emotions that challenged you, share the difficult stuff you’ve overcome. Show us who you are, how you got here, and what it means to you.
I promise you that there are people out there who DO want to hear about it.
If you want an inspiring example of this, look no further than today’s podcast guest: Coach and podcaster Jon McLernon.
Jon McLernon is a nutrition coach who struggled with PTSD, depression, binge-eating, and poor health after a traumatic incident. After recovering and transforming his life, he went on to share his stories—and differentiate himself as a coach.
Jon says his story became his biggest asset in business.
Since then, he went on to launch Between the Before & After, a podcast that shares inspiring real life stories of remarkable people overcoming significant adversity in their life. On his podcast, Jon has interviewed over 100 individuals about their stories, including me. (You can listen to me on his show here.)
I had Jon as a guest on the Storytelling With Heart podcast, where he opens up about his own story, how it’s helped him in business and life, and what he’s learned from other people’s stories.
On this episode of my show we explore:
➡️How a traumatic event sent Jon into a deep spiral of shame, binge eating, and depression—and how he turned his life around.
➡️How sharing his own story helped Jon personally AND professionally — why his story has become his “biggest asset” in business.
➡️Why Jon started a podcast instead of hustling on social media, and why he pivoted his podcast in a different direction.
➡️The value of listening to other people’s stories, including those who are very different from you.
➡️Why it’s worth letting go of your professional facade and opening yourself up to real, unscripted conversations. (And how to put your self consciousness aside.)
➡️Tips for both interviewing people and being interviewed. Hint: If you’re guesting on podcasts or want to “give good interview”, there’s some really useful stuff here.
And so much more.
Listen to the episode at all the usual spots: my website, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, and anywhere else you listen to podcasts.
(And don’t forget to check out the Between The Before And After Podcast here: freedomnutritioncoach.com/between-the-before-and-after-podcast)
Meanwhile, keep on telling your stories and showing us who you are, including the crunchy, gritty bits. I promise you, they’re gold.
P.S. If by any chance you remember this Henry Rollins tape / bit or have access to it please share! I’d love to find it again.