The Tension & Relief Dance
Tension is a part of life, a good part of life. We don’t often like it, but it goes hand in hand with growth... and good storytelling.
Tension, and its antidote — relief — are crucial to storytelling.
Here’s why.
Tension, that unique mix of discomfort and uncertainty, is a part of growth. At every stage when we consider, want, or strive for something more, we experience tension.
I’ve been inspired by Seth Godin’s writing on this, and he puts it this way:
“We face (tension) any time we're about to cross a threshold. The tension of this might work vs. this might not work. The tension of if I learn this, will I like who I become?”
To expand on this notion, we experience tension anytime we become aware of being “here” vs “there”. Tension is the space between not knowing, and wanting to know, but being a little scared of what we will find out and what that will mean for us.
While tension can feel really uncomfortable, our moments of tension — and what we do with them — lead us to new destinations and discoveries. Tension is a growth mechanism. If we can embrace and move through tension (with the right amount of support) it helps us get to where we need to go.
Without tension we cannot move. And our goal as storytellers is to take our readers somewhere. To take them from one starting place, to somewhere new.
"It’s not your job to simply make your readers feel good, it’s your job to help them get where they need to go."
With the right amount tension, you can help your readers arrive at a new destination: one where they’ve learned something. Embraced an idea. Adopted a new possibility. Made a commitment. Or gone on an emotional or entertaining journey.
But if it’s all tension we can’t get anywhere either. We need relief paired with tension in order to feel safe enough to move forward.
Therefore, making everything easy for your audience is not the goal. Neither is overwhelming them with anxiety.
Giving your readers the right amount of tension, balanced with the right amount of relief.... that’s the recipe for a story with impact.
Here are some ways you can effectively apply tension and relief in your storytelling.
(Remember, tension often looks like uncertainty. What’s coming next? Who will I be? Can I do this? Will my problem be solved? And so on.)
How can you create tension in your story:
Build suspense.
Ask for your reader’s commitment to do something.
Get them out of their comfort zone, challenge them, or ask them to do something different that they’re not used to.
Show them a point of view or a way of seeing things that they haven’t seen before.
Reveal a problem they weren’t aware of, or ratchet up the urgency of an existing issue.
Acknowledge the discomfort they’re feeling.
Invite them to do something new.
Teach them a better way to do something they’re already doing.
Express your belief in your reader. (This might sound relieving, but to express faith or belief in the reader is also to imbue them with a sense of responsibility and uncertainty that creates a form of tension.)
But remember, tension and relief is a dance.
If you don’t provide relief as you build tension, your readers may drown in the discomfort, and you risk losing them.
So how can you provide relief? Here are some ways:
Give them encouragement or call out progress.
Tell them what they’ll get and then give it to them. (Expectations delivered eases anxiety.)
Be super clear. Help them understand what you mean.
Be kind and compassionate with your language and tone.
Look for the good. Present problems but also opportunities; show them why the problems or challenges you’ve discussed are also a good thing.
Meet them where they’re at. Use their language, and speak to their needs and wants (not just yours.)
Provide emotional balance. (Even serious topics benefit from moments of humour and lightness.)
Reward them for their efforts.
Acknowledge the tension. (Acknowledgement immediately diffuses some of the discomfort.)
What do you think? How are you using tension and relief in YOUR storytelling?
And if you’re starting to feel, um, a bit tense about how to master this whole tension + relief thing, just remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect. When it comes to writing and creativity, don’t let tension stop you. I’d rather you write freely than get stuck trying to get it right.
(How’s that for relief?) ;)