This Epiphany Changed My Life

In 2012 I had what you might call an epiphany.

Well, actually, I had more than one. That was a big year of growth for me.

Among other things, Brené Brown’s bestselling book Daring Greatly arrived on the scene. And while Brown’s notable work on vulnerability did indeed have significant influence on me, it was something else in the book that really changed my life.

It was the moment she urges readers to “mind the gap” — to examine “the discrepancies between ‘what we say’ and ‘what we do’, or between the values we espouse and the values we practice.” [Emphasis mine.]

I distinctly recall putting the book down as a realization washed over me.

“Oh my God,” I said to myself. “I’m not living my values.”

It’s worth noting that this lightbulb moment came at a time of confusion and unhappiness in my life. I wasn’t really being myself or living the way I wanted to live. Whereas these days I’m busy climbing mountains (sometimes literally), back then I felt like I was lost in the woods. Without intentionally tapping into my core values, I’d slowly shifted away from the things that were most important to me, and as a result, from being the person I really wanted to be.

After reading that passage, I took time to reflect on my values. Over the coming days I developed a long values list, and then I narrowed it down to 5 or 6. I reminded myself of this core set of values each day, and I put them into practice, even in the smallest of ways.

Did life get better? You bet it did.

Over the years, I’ve continued to do values exercises to review what’s most important to me, and make sure those things are front and centre in my life. I recently took this a step further and wrote up my business values. The results were enlightening.

(I’ll share them with you in a moment, along with a free template to do your own values exercise.)

What does this have to do with storytelling?

I’ll tell you.

When your values are aligned with the stories you tell, and how you tell them, your stories get better — and so do your results.

Here’s how that works.

#1 Your values can guide which stories you tell.

What if all your stories — all your writing, all your work — were driven by the things you care about most?

For example, if helping others is a core value of yours, you might choose to focus on the stories that will help teach, guide or inspire. If honesty or authenticity make the list, you might choose to share revealing or vulnerable stories, even if they feel uncomfortable. If humour is a top value for you, you might seek out the stories with belly-laugh potential.

Bonus: Making a list of your values can also give you some great clues for story ideas. For example: Write about a time you weren’t living one of your values and what you learned; or how you learned a lesson about one of your values; or who helped you discover something really important; and so on. (For more writing prompt ideas, check out my writing inspiration card-decks.)

#2 Your values can guide how you tell your stories.

If your values can help you choose which stories to tell, they can also guide the approach you take when writing or developing similar projects.

For example, if compassion is one of your core values, you’ll want to always treat your reader with understanding and support rather than condescension. If authenticity is important to you, you’ll want to ensure that everything you say resonates deeply with who you are and what you really want to express. If creativity is of the utmost importance, you might look for new and fresh ways to explore your ideas. And so on.

Above all, your values can function as a guidepost. When reviewing your work, before publishing, sharing, hitting send, or giving a green light to a project, ask yourself: does this align with my core values? If yes, you probably can’t go too far wrong.

#3. Your values — and how you live them — tell a story about you.

No matter what you’re writing or saying, there’s another story at work, and that’s a story about how you do what you do.

If you espouse one idea in your storytelling, but then you don’t actually live/work in that same way, what’s the point? That’s a recipe for a huge disconnect, and for your work to fall flat.

Back up what you write and share with the world with walking-the-walk as it were, and your stories have a much better chance of making a difference.

#4 Your values can help align your stories so they create a cohesive thread.

Think of your values as the thing that ties everything you do together.

For example, if you have a blog + a course/cert/product + a keynote + a book, all of these should uphold and demonstrate the same core values. They might have slightly different tones, different messages, or different information, but the values should be the same.

This is what you might call staying “on brand”. Or, in real life terms, simply staying true to you.
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Now, as promised: want a sneak peek at the values exercise I did for my business?

AND

A template for your own storytelling values exercise?

To get the free example + template, just sign up for my newsletter in the form below and you’ll be taken to the download!