Are You Trying To See Or Be Seen?
I want you to know: I see you.
Not in a creepy, spying sort of way, of course. :) In the sense that:
I recognize what you’re doing. I get that it takes effort, guts and vulnerability.
I believe in you. I know you have important, meaningful, worthwhile stories to share.
I appreciate you. I’m glad you’re here, doing your thing.
It’s so important for all of us as humans to be seen. Being seen gives us space to be ourselves, and fosters connection and mutual understanding and appreciation.
On the other hand, feeling unseen — unrecognized, unappreciated, misunderstood or skipped over — is a terrible thing. It can breed a sense of loneliness, isolation, even shame.
(If you’re familiar with the movie The Breakfast Club, you may recall the tension in the scene when Allison, played by Ally Sheedy, was pressed to admit what bad stuff was going on at home. She whispers, “They ignore me.”)
This is one of the reasons I am so dedicated to helping you tell your stories: to help you feel seen in the world.
But that’s not all. Your story doesn’t just have the potential to help you be seen. It has the potential to help you see others.
In fact, “seeing” your readers — recognizing, understanding, acknowledging, appreciating, and connecting with them — is perhaps the biggest, most powerful secret ingredient a story can have.
It’s funny, but being “seen” requires you to “see”.
If you have an idea or perspective to share, but you only share it from your own lens, you’re missing an opportunity to help see or speak to the people who are reading your story.
On the other hand, if you can share your story in a way that speaks to them, that helps them feel seen, you have potential for real connection.
This experience of “seen-ness” is not a one way street. It’s a two-way interaction.
Therefore, to craft a better story, you must not think only about you. You must think about your reader:
Who they are. What they’re doing here. What they need and want and are trying to learn. How you can acknowledge them, appreciate them, show them that you ‘get’ them.
Help them feel seen… and they’ll be more likely to see you back.